10 May 2017

My life is about to change again

Last 2 years were the time where i had the most changes in life.

From being a mother, to getting pregnant again, to dealing with lawsuits, and in the next 1-2 weeks to come, my life is about to change again..

I will be a mother of two.

Don't think i've grasp the concept of "doing it right" with one child yet haha, how am i going to do it with two! I too wonder. Guess i'd just go with it!

Right now if you ask me, i'm more worried about how Meredith will feel and how it will change her, having a little sister. As of now she has already registered that she has a meimei inside me, coming out soon.

Everyday she would kiss her meimei, without me asking ='))) She eat food / fruits also will wanna feed the meimei, which is essentially my belly lol. Play toys also she will show meimei her toys.. She where pain pain also will show meimei.. So far i must say she interacts with my belly and me overly well. LOL.

"See meimei! See!" *shows her toy to my belly* Then i will jiggle my belly a little and squeak softly "Thank you jiejie! I love it! It's so fun!" O.O

I am gonna be bipolar soon i swear LOL. I play so many characters a day with all her 2973976348 soft toys. And now i gotta role play as her meimei also lol.

As much as she likes meimei, she is also insecure about not being loved with an additional meimei.

It first started when she was having a video call with Michelle. And Michelle said "Sorry Meredith this time Ganma bought a lot of clothes for meimei.. Not so much for you.. Next time ganma get for you okay.."

Meredith pouted sadly for a while and look at me "But i wang..... =((( I oso wang.. Wah abao me?"

Then another time a stroller was delivered to our house. It's suitable for both of them. So when Meredith saw the stroller she asked

Meredith: Dis for me? My sholer?

Me: Yeah, it's for you and meimei.

Meredith: Noooo. It's for me! *about to melt down*

Me: Okay okay. It's for you.

Meredith: Yes. It's for me.

Me: But can you share with meimei?

Meredith: Can! I share wee meimei my sholer. Mas xie.

=__="

Then she proceed to put her shoes at the stroller, and then hang her water bottle on it too =___=" Hahaha. Each time not forgetting to remind us "Dis my sholer. I xie wee meimei". Okay okay yours yours yours!

And then i was explaining this picture to her to talk about being considerate and giving up seats to people who need it more and she was pointing out that the mummy (the one carrying a baby in the carrier) is me, and so i casually replied..

Me: Yes.. That's mummy. And i'm carrying meimei.. This is Meredith yes? *points to the little girl sitting on the far left*

Meredith: Noooo.. Dis Mehdith. Dis not meimei.. Mama carry me.. Hmph.. Hmph.. Hmph.. ='(((

=OOO What kind of insensitive mother am i!

She really hmph hmph hmph like a bit hurt a bit angry and wanna cry wanna cry like this.

And look at me like why i don't love her omggggg. HOW AM I GONNA DEAL WITH HER LITTLE ACCIDENTAL HEARTBREAKS KNOWING THERE'S GONNA BE MORE TO COME T________T

She really is my baobei for so long.. Can't help but feel a little sad that soon she will have to deal with not being able to have papa and mama's attention fully and i'm very very worried if i'd accidentally hurt her or her or be insensitive to her constant need for assurance and attention especially with meimei around by then T_T

Like even for her school time, we might have to adjust it a little bit to have her stay in school to nap instead of coming home to nap becox we are scared that meimei's crying will disturb her rest and vice-versa. And also English, pre- Maths and pre-Science classes are all after nap time, on different days.

But honestly i just can't let it go. I cannot let her go T____T If i let her go to school 10am - 4pm that's 6 hours away from me everyday instead of just 3 hours like it's always been.

Just the thought of it 我就心痛死.

Am i being over-dramatic here.. I don't know. Probably.. But i feel like crying becox i mean right now i put her to nap everyday i'm home, and on some days when i'm not, she would sometimes wait for me to put her to nap.. Her favourite song is "Mama love bidang" Bidang is her.. And the tune is It's A Small World. The lyrics repeat with "Mama love bidang.. Bidang love mama" and with that she will always fall asleep sound and sweet =')))

But if she naps in school is howwwww. As much as Meredith's teachers and school is really awesome, nobody is gonna sing her lullaby i suppose???

OMG BUT ANOTHER PART OF ME IS SCREAMING AT MYSELF to ask me to let go becox Meredith needs to grow and what comforts me and comforts her right now might not be suitable for the long run T___T And that i should never be that kind of mother who baby their kids until they ownself don't know they are stifling the growth and maturing of their kids.

Josh (Co-Founder of Meredith LOL) also tell me i need to let it go.. T________T And that i can let Meredith try first, to see how.

Michelle (Main sponsor HAHA) ask me to start her on the longer school timing sooner becox if i wait until meimei comes out then i let her go try, she will think it's becox of meimei that she has to nap in school and that will be worst. I agree.. But i'm only left with 2 weeks T___T It means i have to let her go try soon. Like maybe this week. HOW DO I DO IT WHEN I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

Urghomg.

I drafted this post 1 week ago, when i actually am left with 2 weeks time to decide. A week later, things have changed and i've decided, to not let her nap in school =XXX Pre-school Science and Maths and English can wait, she'd learn them matter of time.

Meredith is gonna continue to go only 3 hours becox that's enough time for learning, playing and social interaction with teachers and other kids and then she can come home to enjoy time with us and her little baby sister. I read with her everyday anyway! We also do counting and learn alphabets at home. I think she's doing okay learning wise, for a 2 yro! (actually just comforting myself becox i don't know if i'm doing the right thing or just doing the easier thing).

As for me, when the baby is out, i'd just have to figure out how to let them both get rest without waking each other up. I think Meredith being the jiejie will understand how to help me =D

I guess you can already see, i'm not ready-ready. Too many things unsettled and i have all these mom-struggles. We'd take one step a time alright!!!

My life is about to change again, i don't know what to expect but i expect it to change so that when it does, i know i'd deal with it like how i've been dealing with it since =) With lotsa good faith, positivity and determination to be a good enough mommy for my.. Kids =')



29 April 2017

Pursoft MOMents

Sponsored Post

Here to share some little moments that makes up motherhood for me, since Mothers' Day is around the corner. And i'd be honest here, Mothers' Day has never been a thing for me, until i became a mother myself..

Guess i wasn't lucky in that sense, i've never had a close bond with my mother.. If you realise it's something i never really talk about even though you can tell i'm quite an open person on my blog and social media. Becox no matter what, she's still my mother and i don't want people to look at her in ways they shouldn't.

You could say i was taught and brought up by my elder sisters and father. Even then, i do have a few fond memories of my mother before things went down-south for about 20 years now = l

I remember when i was in Kindergarten, sometimes she would come and fetch me after school, sometimes with a little bottle of drink, sometimes we would buy one egg tart and i'd eat it as we walked home..

Sometimes she would bring me along when she shops. One time she brought Pearl and i. She only had $20 with her, i think that's my dad's budget for her to bring us out. I insisted on a tub of $19.90 building blocks. She got it for me anyway.. And we had to go home straight after cox got no more money to shop / eat anyway after buying the building blocks O.O I remember this becox Pearl was scolding and lecturing me on the bus ride home and my mother said "不要紧啦". She said it's okay =') Those were some little fond memories..

As i grew older, i became more and more aware of what's going on and i guess i could only say.. We couldn't communicate at all.. So more and more arguments happened, and then with time, it become indifference and as i age to become adult myself, i simply accept that she's afterall still a family member, we are responsible for her so we do what we can..

We still go out on family dinner, still spend family weekends together.

Now that i'm writing about this, i think maybe i can finally understand why i've always wanted to be a mother. I realised maybe all these while, i knew exactly what was lacking in my childhood..

A mother's tenderness, strength and toughness.. The kind of support and comfort you can only find from your mother.. Kind of like what Pursoft provides me with. See this video that Pursoft did T.T


Watch until i cry wth T___T Prepare some Pursoft tissue before you watch ah.

My sisters and i probably wouldn't know how that feels like and i ask myself if i yearn for it, i do. A lot more when i was younger, when i look at my friends' mothers, and then a lot lesser as i grow up cox that's how you grow strong yourself, you find sources of strength, love and happiness to keep going!

And then when i become a mother myself, JENG KENG JENG, finally i can 散发母爱 myself hahahah.

I literally waited soooooo long to be a mother so when Meredith came to the world, i remember i was thankful even when cleaning her poop wth, it's like "Thank you for the opportunity to clean your poop and service you, my baby" LOL.

You wanna give your baby the best, you kinda have to be able to afford it too haha!
I remember i was telling Sijie how i think full-time working mummies are so freaking unbeatable, invincible and strong. And that i really respect all you full-time working mummies.

Becox i see how Sijie wake up before dawn breaks, change Yuxuan's diaper / give her milk, then prep for work, then spend 1 hour plus travelling to work by walking to the bus stop, taking bus to MRT station then take the train to her workplace then walk or take a bus in etc. And when she's coming home, she takes the same 1 hour plus route back..

And that's after you had a long day at work you know!!! And we all know the challenges everyone might face at work. Then okay, still gotta make your way home through the rush hour. Some mummies gotta go home and cook and clean somemore =OOO Are you guys bionics O.O

While Sijie tells me she thinks stay-at-home mummies are so inspiring and respectable becox they do everything by themselves and dedicate all their time and thoughts to their kids. I agree! It's so selfless and noble.

But to me being able to have the luxury of choice to not have to work, and to spend ALLLLLL my time with my kid is like striking lottery so i don't see it as a challenge but i know truth is, if i really am able to do that, i'd probably have other sets of challenges to face as a full-time SAHM. Haha.

It's like this isn't it, grass is always greener on the other side hahaha.

That's why i term myself the WFHM -

Work-from-home mummies.

LOL. This is how mummies always find a way.

So i still can do the things i enjoy - Spending time with Meredith, feed her, play with her, put her to nap, do activities with her.. And when she's napping / sleeping, i get time to do my work or run errands =D

It sounds like a perfect solution, but really, it's tough. Some work are more urgent than the others so they can't exactly wait til your daughter is asleep to be done haha.

But hey, i'm still happy i can get by by having ALMOST best-of-both-world, to be able to have a job where i can work from home and spend time with my daughter!

All these little moments.. During her meal time.. =))
Btw that's the latest design for Pursoft! It's the Chocolate Rain girl! Cute hor. Here i am trying to clean her hands for the 2927846923649th time haha.

Mums will understand. You just have to make sure their hands are as clean as they can be almost at all times becox anytime they might just rub their eyes, swipe hair off their face etc..

Now i appreciate ALL the times during our childhood where we accidentally spill drinks / soup during meal time where somehow my mum will always whip out tissue paper haha!

And i remember times when the adult tries to wipe our mouth after food, or wipe our sweat when we're playing and we'd always struggle or get annoyed and just wanna run away quickly haha. Now as a parent myself, I think these are all little soft touches from mummies ='))

"But mummy, i can do it myself =D" Hahah. Yes you best okay, Meredith.
Meredith lovessss soup but of course it's not the most fuss-free thing to feed her LOL. I'd always bring a 3-ply Pursoft travel pack out in my own bag! You think this is auntie?
CHECK THIS OUT. Hahaha! A mother shall never run out of tissue paper wth haha. The Pursoft soft pack is always available in her diaper bag when we go out =D I think if Singapore got flood or anywhere pipe leak we can just gather all the mothers and ask them to bring out their tissue paper to help dry the place wth.
The night design for Pursoft Chocolate Rain series! We put it at the bedroom, got little owls and what not. Quite cute! This is Meredith brushing her teeth after snack. The saliva free-flow one =_=

Having all these little moments with Meredith really mean the world to me.

I am eternally grateful and humbled for all the help given to me. When i look around, there's still food on the table, i am still able-bodied, Meredith is still happy, healthy and she can still go to school, my family is still tight, my friends are still close.
I think that's plenty enough, and i think that's a lot of grace and blessing upon me already =D

And you know what kept me going?

The fact that i am a mother.

It kept me going, stronger and stronger.

This is the greatest gift i wanted and was lucky enough to be given after trying for so many years, and everyday i make a conscious decision to make good of it.

And to pull through motherhood, you just have to be strong and resilient. And whatever you deal with, deal with it with gentleness, kindness and when you can, give comfort to people you love.

I may not have experienced mother-daughter bonding myself but now i can manufacture the source of strength, tenderness and comfort by myself!!! And supply it in utmost quality in unlimited quantities to Meredith!!!! =DDD And soon, her little sister =DDD

And the comforting fact here is, although i might not have vivid memories of my mother caring for me, i get to see her caring for Meredith on the weekends she comes to stayover.. =)

It's the simplest things but it's enough..

Every Saturday night when my parents sleepover, i'd make sure Meredith hug and kiss both of them goodnight before turning in.

It's something i've never ever done with my own mother, but i'm glad at least Meredith could do it with her grandmother.. Making up bits of whatever got lost in transmission during my growing up years.

You know i think tissue paper are very much like mummies. Always needed and necessary but not always appreciated enough. My mum will always push tissue paper / wet tissue / sanitary pads to us for god-knows-why i guess it's the only few things she can give us, maybe?

Since we were teenagers okay. She'd always pass these to us, ask us to carry them, just in case.

I would be so annoyed by it. But as i grow up, i realise it's VERY important hahaha.

Especially now that i'm a mum myself. Tissue paper become one of the must-haves in my bag.

And Pursoft Tissues are made with 100% Virgin Pulp fibers, free from Optical Brightening Agents (OBA) and are Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified! Only the best for our loved ones, yes? =)
Meredith see i take product shots she tell me "I wang take picher" Lol. Okay loh come.
I ask her "Is it soft?" She did this pose for me LOL. She's a pro.

Conclusion? It's important to be tough as much as you're tender.. =)) As a mother, as you're looking for something in tissue paper haha. Really! It's a difficult balance but it can definitely be achieved =)

Happy Mothers' Day to all you awesome mummies out there!!! Check out the video Pursoft did! It's very inspiring and touching okay T.T www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRMLb0jCx54

You may visit www.pursoft.com.sg/samples to get a free PurSoft Travel Pack sample today!
*While stocks last

You may also visit FairPrice Online (www.fairprice.com.sg) for introductory offer price (1st – 31st May)

Pursoft now comes in new Chocolate Rain Designs and soft packs!
Look for their introductory prices available at Fair Price till 31st May 2017
3 ply Facial Box - 2 for $8.95
3 ply Travel Pack -2 for $3.55
3 ply Soft Pack - 2 for $7.95
❤︎

27 April 2017

MeregoBKK / MeregoKL

Clearing up all the old pictures before they fa mou in my computer. I think with the new baby coming and with me being sooooo behind Meredith and Mummy diary, i finally feel the urgency to put everything together before it's forever too late haha. It's now or never.

These are from our trip in May 2016.. Almost ONE YEAR AGO WTH. Unbelievable, i am a failure as a blogger haha. But then again i can come up with 19376 excuses but you already know. LOL.

At least i blog okay okay okay. Here's a picturelogue of what went down when we visit Cheesie and Baby Sakura in May, and shortly after, our first Ang Sister trip (with a little party crasher with the surname Tan lolol) to Bangkok in May as well.

Things were still okay back then, how much did one year change things and people.. Right? Haha. This is why i love life. It's always changing, always exciting. Never fail to make you feel trolled lol.

A video from Meregoround youtube channel =))) For MereGoBKK and MereGoKL!

On our short flight to KL! "Mummy you never pay for my ticket right? I hide here okay" It's okay Meredith you were less than 2 year old so no need pay for your ticket. LOL.
Baby SAKURAAAA~ When she was soooooo tiny and little!!! Look a bit like Junya when he was a newborn!!!
Wachu lookin at Sakura~ =DDD Look at the neglected one walking away.. LOL.
One with the supermom Cheesie =DDD How many more times we gonna do this, Cheesie!!! HAHA. 

I visit you when you had Junya.

You visit me 9 months later when i had Meredith.

I visit you 1 year later for Sakura.

1 more year later you visiting me soon for my second one. Is it we playing pass baton?! =DDD

Hahaha! Cannot believe just years ago we still hiong VIVI magazine and salivating over their shoes, bags, clothes and poses. Now our topics revolve around momming haha!

Little princess pouting =)))
LOOK AT THOSE HEART SHAPE LIPS. 什么事 Sakura??? Why you look so grump!
“其实没事" Lol.
At night after Meredith sleep, me and Josh feast. He got me my favourite chips in the world (only in tomato flavour!!! I don't like the other flavours). But sadly Singapore got sell any other flavours except tomato wth. Please spot the book of my writer friend okay HAHA.
Next day morning someone grumpy cox i don't let her squeeze her milk pack =_=
Before we go find Junya and Sakura again! Kiddy train ride at the mall!
I love you too okay Meredith haha. Don't need 24/7 扑在妈妈怀里.
We got this stroller from Cheesie's neighbourhood and it was awesome. SGD250 or something i can't remember. Can collapse into like a handcarry bag haha.
Second day to see Sakura.. So soft and fuzzy T.T There's something about newborns.. They are sooooo fragile and beautiful it makes you feel like life is just amazing.
And then there's silly toddler who make you feel life is amusing lol. She took out the shower cap and think it looks very pretty on her okay.

Btw just a note on how this apartment we stayed in was haunted =XXX Wth.

Meredith kept playing with "someone" it freaked me out so bad. And the area near the closet smelled like fish / blood to Josh. He also heard footsteps outside our bedroom at night prancing up and down. 

Note to self: ALWAYS READ REVIEWS BEFORE BOOKING AN APARTMENT. AND NEVER EVER EVER STAY IN THE LAST OR FIRST UNIT OF A BUILDING LOL.

Becox later when we went to read the reviews for this old building, turns out there were a few other reviews that say they were so freaked out becox the unit they stayed in was so haunted, think blanket pulling, legs pulling when the person is on the bed, one of their roommates got elevated in the air when on bed, smelled blood etc. 宁可信岂有 wth.

I'd never have the habit of reading reviews before buying / booking anything but after this episode i go for reviews before anything O.O

I guess it was not THAAAT bad afterall becox the "someone" simply play with Meredith through our stay there, never make her cry or anything O.O But when we were leaving Meredith kept wanting to go back into the room to play and kept pointing to the room wthhhh =SSS Finally she just say byebye to the corridor of the bedroom and we left.
At the ariport to view some airplanes before we fly back to Singapore!
To more family travels together, we thought haha. I think that was our last trip together as a family of 3. But it's alright becox it was nice, three of us did quite well on a trip together. Slow, chillax and fuss-free! Josh is very hands-on with Meredith so i get a lot of help =D When meimei come out don't know still can or not haha!
At the airport line.. Someone video-calling ganma and doing all sorts of silly faces. That's all for our trip to KL!!! =D Next.. To Bangkok with the ah yis~! =DDD

❤︎

Spot le xiao brandwhore like Si Yi hahaha. She ownself lup it over her neck one okay hahaha. Sijie was scared that i couldn't manage her on the flight so she went to buy some chocolates and candies for just in case. Er.. 小看我了吧. LOL.
LET'S GO BABEH~!!!
"What this? Why no sound?" Please wait Meredith, mummy pass you the kiddy earphone.
"Okay better"
"Where my food?" LOL.
Reached BKK! =D Cannot use most of Erjie and Niao Niao's pictures wthhh!!! They use some beauty camera to shoot and it's always blur one!!! Are you guys 50 yro why you all use beauty cameras wth.
First, an ice cold fruit popsicle for us =D CAN YOU BELIEVE HER CHEEKS WERE SO FAT haha!
"I want some!"
=P
Touristy ma.
Miss being able to carry her like this everywhere i go T.T
On our second day we have visitors haha! Rach and Sean popped by for a short while!
Happy people happy smiles~ =D
Waiting for our tuktuk ride!
We decided to go on a tuktuk! Exciting! Cox it's gonna be Meredith's first tuktuk ride =D One nice picture for Sanjie they all =D
Then Sanjie help us take a picture of Meredith's first tuk tuk ride =__= 吃屎吧你, 三姐. LOLOL. WTF. How memorable leh thank you Sanjie.
"Nevermind, mama. I take selfie on the tuk tuk"
"Like this" Haha! LOVE HER BLUSHING CHEEKS! It's from the heat in BKK.
With Sijie and Erjie who helped so much with Meredith and my barang barang respectively!!!
Meredith why you grow up so fast!
"I don't have a choice mama"
Night market time~!!! =D With Niao niao!
And with Ninja Turtle who helped me carry all my loots cox i carrying Meredith =X
"Niaoyi 你要跟我 selfie 啊?"
"Okay!" LOL.
Siyi making her laugh and laugh non-stop with don't know what haha. I am so blessed to have my sister's support and help on the trip. If not i think can die. With the heavy diaper bag and all.
Third day! Out to explore morning market!
And then to a shop where there's cheap birds nest haha. So funny inside the dessert all got gingko nuts. Then we all kept teasing Sijie hahahahaha. Kept asking the girl to add more ginko nuts for her becox they say if eat too much ginko nuts can be lethal and can kena poisoned and die from it one. LOL. 大家都很爱Sijie. LOL.
Having our lunch and Meredith took a crap but there's no changing toilet in the old mall. So they made a formation barrier to make sure no one sees her being changed. Then this Erjie took pictures and me and Sijie are very particular about our daughter's private areas being caught on pictures so i death stare Erjie haha but she assure me cannot see. Really cannot see becox Sijie covering but still to be safe, i blank it lol.
Next day morning Sijie say i can go enjoy hotel breakfast while she help me watch after Meredith who is still sleeping. I secretly took her thermal flask down to go dabao porridge okay LOLOL #Singaporean #Cheapskate #NotSorry =XXX
Lunch =D See me and Sijie's feet LOL. Really is sisters wth. My sanjie very cute hor, always look so bubbly in pictures.
Night time.. Gotta make someone consus first before we can pig out with our dabao roadside food.
More random shots of our sister trip. But i collage becox all super blur from their beauty cameras lah! =_=" Haha! Thank you all so much for these good memories T.T I couldn't join sister trip to JB this year 2017, but next year hopefully i settled my cases and we can go again~ =DDD
Niao yi took these pictures of Meredith when she's done with breakfast. So i can have some time to eat =D
Then we lepak and braid Niao Yi's hair haha. she got try to help Niao Yi braid also.
Checking out! Meredith was very easy on the whole trip. I think she's an awesome travel partner haha. Baby be patient okay, mummy bring you to see more places when we're doing better =D
The dress i bought and washed the night before! =D They help me to blowdry with hairdryer so that she can wear it on the day we go home haha. Shoes bought by Niao Niao. It's handmade by the roadside shop owners! So li hai right they all have so much talent and so resilient. Love BKK!!!

Okay Meredith ending school soon. I better go pee and all. Bye bye!

More post soon hopefully! If not next post you see me i mother of two liao haha.